Men behaving badly, the Kentucky legislature edition

When Rep. Daniel Grossberg’s attorney, Anna Whites, said that he has no plans to resign after multiple sexual harassment allegations, my first and only thought was: He deserves due process, and he should resign.

The Legislative Ethics Commission is investigating Grossberg’s alleged behavior unbecoming a state representative. There is additional Lexington Herald-Leader reporting that three more women — ages 26 to 28 — came to them directly with detailed allegations, including text messages, of unwelcome, sexually explicit comments and behavior.

Louisville Democrats — his own party — issued a statement on Aug. 29 asking that Grossberg “temporarily refrain from participating in LDP events and meetings while the Legislative Ethics Commission investigation is in process.”

And still, he has no plans to resign. Why would he? Powerful men behaving badly, arrogantly and even offensively in the Kentucky legislature is today’s norm. And there are not enough watchdogs to consistently call it out.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us got so used to viewing meetings online, at our leisure, that we gladly traded long commutes and time away from home for a video screen. But what we see/hear on legislative video feeds is extremely limited, kind of like being locked in your cabin on a cruise ship where all you can see of the expansive and potentially treacherous ocean is what’s visible through your one, tiny porthole.

One, tiny porthole is not enough.

After the Old National Bank mass shooting in April 2023, I spent as much of the next year in Frankfort as I could. I learned what it feels like to be there, to be present; that there is a staggering difference between being inside the Capitol Annex meeting rooms and in the Senate and House galleries in person vs. following online; that not everything happens on camera.

To give credit where credit is due, at least House Democrats have shown integrity by suspending Grossberg from their caucus and interim committee meetings during the ethics investigation.

The last couple of columns I filed about the 2024 General Assembly — one on sexism, one on racism — centered on what it felt like to be in those rooms, to experience the steady offensiveness that permeates the GOP supermajority in our legislative body. The sexism and racism are features, not bugs, and not even a little bit hidden.

You might remember the shocking photo of Senate President Robert Stivers and Floor Leader Damon Thayer scowling, shaking fingers, losing their tempers at Sen. Karen Berg for questioning data supporting House Bill 5, arguably the most consequential bill of the session. What if that photo had not been taken??

There was the Senate Committee on Veterans, Military Affairs, and Public Protection meeting, led by Sen. Rick Girdler, in which a little, dark-skinned girl sitting with Sen. Gex Williams witnessed nothing but 21 minutes of a good old boy, misogynistic, frat-house-like romp masquerading as legislative work. I remember turning to the person sitting next to me, in a meeting I almost skipped because it had such a short agenda, and saying something like, My God, there is an entire story in this one awful meeting.

There was a snarling Rep. Ryan Dotson on the House floor, finger-pointing and raising his voice as Rep. Sarah Stalker dared — yes, a woman, dared — to ask him the most basic questions about a discriminatory housing bill, to the point that House Speaker David Osborne stopped Dotson and advised caution. And then everyone carried on as if nothing happened.

Is it any wonder that a male legislator like Grossberg, working in this same Capitol Annex, feels like he can do whatever tickles his fancy in such a consistently vulgar, unrepentant, frat-boy atmosphere??

I have often found myself looking around a committee room and wondering, did you guys hear that? Where is leadership? Is someone going to stop this, call it out, say something, say anything at all??

In one — just one! — of the many allegations, reported by the Herald-Leader, against Grossberg, “Woman B, who is 26 and involved in Democratic politics, shared several different occasions in 2024, both in person, through texts and in other messaging apps where he repeatedly made comments she considered harassing or threatening. He asked questions about her sexual orientation and expressed serious romantic interest, she said. Woman B also said Grossberg told her if she were to learn what his porn preferences were, “I would never forgive him,” she recounted in a text to a friend. He also “relentlessly” asked for nude photos.”

Please tell me what can be misconstrued or misunderstood here?

Ah well. Grossberg says he is not resigning, that he will continue working, so Woman B will also go back to her job and things will be … the same?

And then we wonder why women do not report.

After sine die in April, I needed a break from being in Frankfort in person, so I took the summer off. When people asked why I wasn’t there, why they did not see me in this meeting or that, I said with all honesty, “Because being there feels like drinking poison.”